he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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