I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
