I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
