Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
