i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
