then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
