I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
