He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
