Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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