Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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