You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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