Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
