I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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