If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
