wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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