It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
