:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
