is your mom at the bar?
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
