So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
There's even glitter on my cock...
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