Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
