when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
