He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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