put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
