ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
