So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
