even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
