I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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