you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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