she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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