She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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