Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
