Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
