Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I have feelings that need drinking.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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