I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
