I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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