batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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