I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
