i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
