gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
