I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
