its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
