After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
