My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
