we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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