so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
