And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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