I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
