i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
