Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
