So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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