she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
