I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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